Entomophobia anyone??

"Whenever I hear you scream bloody murder, I assume it's just a bug."

Thanks Keith. Really. If ever something awful actually WERE to happen to me, my screams would be brushed off as if I'd merely seen an ant. Comforting.

It's not my fault that I have somehow become terrified of bugs. ALL bugs. Except ladybugs. I can handle those. But bugs in general give me the creeps. I hate them. I look at them and want to throw up. Or cry. Or run away screaming. Or all three. Which was the case today.

I was watching the Olympics, which is literally ALL I have done for the past week and a half. And for some reason, while I watch really intense athletes perform amazing feats, I like to sit on my couch and eat candy. No biggie. So tonight, I reach over, pick up my bag of sour patch kids (YUM), and see this HUGE bug on the bag. I don't even know what the thing was, just that it was big and black. I literally screamed at the top of my lungs and threw the bag to the floor, spewing its contents. I wonder what the neighbors were thinking?? They probably didn't jump to the conclusion that I had seen a bug... And as a side note, the candy bag was almost empty. Otherwise I never would have considered throwing it to the floor and contaminating that much sugary goodness. Anyway... I made a complete fool out of myself. Again. But then Keith, being the studly man he is, killed the bug for me. My hero.

Keith and I are lucky. Our apartment is really pretty clean for an old married complex in P-town. I've only ever seen like 3 bugs in our place, and we've lived here for a year now! Sometimes people try to convince me that bugs are good. That we need certain bugs to control the numbers of certain other bugs? (In my opinion, it would be great if NO bugs existed at all. Then they wouldn't have to try and keep track of each other all the time...?) But since they exist, and I can't do anything about it, I will accept it. I will NOT, however, accept bugs in my HOUSE. EVER. And ESPECIALLY not anywhere near my candy. If it ever happens again, Keith will end you quickly.